So, there was a bit of malice in The Palace last night. If you don't know what I'm talking about, just... just watch:

It's been a while and I've calmed down. A little. But being a hockey fan, I couldn't resist the urge to have a little fun with this at the same time. Here are the penalties that should have been assessed last night, if they'd been playing hockey instead of basketball:

Pacers
Artest: Roughing (4:00), Fighting (5:00), Game Misconduct (10:00)
O’Neal: Instigator (2:00), Fighting (5:00), Game Misconduct (10:00), Gross misconduct (10:00)
Jackson: Roughing (2:00), Fighting (5:00), Game Misconduct (10:00)
Bender: Roughing (4:00), Misconduct (10:00)
Jones: Roughing (2:00), Holding (2:00)
Tinsley: Roughing (4:00). Slashing (5:00), Game Misconduct (10:00)
Croshere: Holding (4:00)

Pistons
B. Wallace: Instigator (2:00), Roughing (2:00), Fighting (5:00), Game Misconduct (10:00)
Hamilton: Roughing (4:00), Misconduct (10:00)
R. Wallace: Roughing (4:00), Misconduct (10:00), Game Misconduct (10:00)
Coleman: Roughing (2:00)

Fans, Etc.
Beer thrower: Instigator (2:00), Fighting (5:00), Game Misconduct (10:00)
Man Jackson hit: Holding (2:00)
Chair thrower: Spearing (5:00), Game Misconduct (10:00), Gross Misconduct (10:00)
Man who attacked Jones: Instigator (2:00), Fighting (5:00), Gross Misconduct (10:00)
Jim Gray: Unsportsmanlike Conduct (diving) (4:00)
Man Artest went after first: Unsportsmanlike Conduct (diving) (4:00)